ain't no such thing as a senseless act of beauty

worried that perhaps some day my kids will write a tell all, i am tickling the idea of beating them to the punch.             fair warning: i am prone to 8-track* style meanderings of idea nuggets, if you follow the trail of thought crumbs you might just find yourself lost.

the latest embarrassing episode: this very morning's tantrum, replete with ridiculous self deprecating, book throwing (one notebook, the old fashioned paper kind), and stomping.     (not one of them, 'twas all me)
why? i awoke relatively early this morning, ideas boiling over the edge of my brain. i know from innumerable experiences, that if i attempt to get vertical before recording them outside of my head, they quickly pour out onto the floor & down the nearest drain, hopefully leaving a few droplets, but those evaporate quicker than i can locate a pen & paper


whoever said beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get me to the otolaryngologist (look it up, i did, then try pronouncing it!)
'cause it's in there too! and more, i swear it! and in the fingertips, palms, around the neck, on the soles of the feet...'tis an all-sensory experience.


with my head still on the pillow, i typed them as quickly as i could on my ipad & emailed 'em to myself. whew! i think i got them all.
up, dressed, pancakes on the griddle, coffee in hand, i look to my inbox to keep the inspiration train chugging along. not there! not in any inbox, sent messages or drafts. GONE! arrgh!!! (insert aforementioned tantrum here)
herein lies an attempt to exhume/preserve the details from the rapidly fading memory stain, aided ever so kindly by the syncopated music of clacking keys & carriage return dings. bows &
curtsies to you wonderful typewriter app
hanx writer (unsolicited praise/plug) tangible wonderful sensory delight, you will get those memories off the wall, on their feet & dancing!


a flashback i experience pretty much anytime i am around gemstones, which is pretty much all the time: corrine & i are at the tucson gem show, pavlovian drooling over tourmaline. (of course tourmaline! I dream in tourmaline!)   we both experience the same visceral desire to place our tongues on the sparkling, colorful, juicy wee faceted chatons...(omg! try google image search "chatons" take note of your reaction for later on in this rambling essay. now realize that my intention was"gemstone chatons") that we may pick them up thusly and let them rest on our taste-buds as to savor them more fully. like children with pixie sticks or pop rock coated tongues, we look at each-other and can imagine the gems twinkling on one another's outstretched tongues. those twinkles are reflected in our eyes and smiles.

pop rocks

the gem dealer overhears us with obvious discomfort, he looks as if he is going to wrap his treasures up in an embrace held close to his chest, or at the very least throw tablecloths over his display in an attempt to keep these 2 ravenous beasts out.

van gogh
growing up in & around nyc, i am ever grateful to my parents and elementary school teachers for introducing me to the wonders of oh so many incredible museums. at the met & moma guards would keep their eyes trained on me as i would draw precariously closer and closer to a van gogh canvas. the intense color & motion, those luxuriously textured brushstrokes, i wanted so badly to touch them/ feel them (sound bite: tommy) I guess it was written/ painted all over me...


see me, feel, me, touch me: starry night made oh so tangible by my grand hands, a wee thin needle, a delightfully celestial specimen of lapis lazuli &about a zillion(give or take) itty bitty glass seed beads


mcqueen: savage beauty
you can imagine how excited i was to take in this exhibit, i wanted to attend every day, wished that the met offered sleepovers. now that it has opened at the victoria & albert, i am sorely tempted to hop across the pond. my first visit was during opening week, i usually try to wait out the first couple of weeks, as they are too crowded, but for this i could not stay away. was it crowded? more crowded than i had ever seen any of the galleries. it was like trying to walk through subway cars during rush hour, with a select few of the passengers enrobed in art that everyone wanted to get closer to.

i had many years of honing my subway skills. i waited. i jockeyed for position. i persevered, determined to get as close as i could to each specimen of beauty. and each time i stood my ground for as long as i possibly could (elbows out & growling). my inner child, the little girl in front of van gogh's paintings for the very first time was dancing as if she had to pee desperately. my breath would catch & my heart stop for a moment, then i became keenly aware of the blood coursing faster through my veins, my palms were itching, i looked down to see my fingers rubbing together, involuntarily, as if possessed, it looked as if i was feeling the quality of some imaginary silk. the need to touch was in my bloodstream. this beauty was too great to only be appreciated with the eyes. so, shhh, please don't tell on me, but i did! i gave a gentle, honoring, giving obeisance caress to a few fibers of as many pieces as I could, thanks to the crushing amount of people present, i got away with it and was able to serve my drooling senses a few extra tastes.

mcqueen:savage beauty

i know several drummers who have been diagnosed at one time or another with having an irregular heartbeat/ slight arrhythmia. do they feel the music that much more, such that it enters the bloodstream & heart? how common is this amongst musicians? what about dancers?

what sets your toes a-tapping/ heart a-fluttering?



kittens (insert requisite kitten cuteness here/ recall chaton reference)
why do i have to squish them till they complain & then some? do you? is this senseless? or sense-full?

babies - see above ;)
and sniff them, my nose on my babies' scalps, inhaling their wonderful sweet aroma, like a freshly opened 64 box of crayolas. yup, today i smell those crayolas and am transported back 20 plus years, to when my children were wee babes, it's a kind of comforting euphoria.


if you haven't savored this morsel yet, i give it five stars, quite the tasty feast. after reading it i noticed a marked heightening of my senses, the "normal" 5 at least. i'm about to read it again to see if the effects become exponential. i sure hope so!